• Beginner-Friendly - Dance Discussions - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Steals and Three-Ways – and How to Do It Right

    January 7, 2022 - By 

    In many partner genres, steal dances and three-way dances (or more) are becoming more popular. In others, stealing has been part of the groundwork of the dance since its very inception. But, with this growing trend and with the adoption of dances outside their home culture, there are considerations of consent, agency, and culture that need to be discussed to be sure that everyone is happy to be stealing. What are Steal Dances and Three-Way Dances? A steal dance is when partners trade each other with others. For example, a birthday dance where different partners enter and take over leading/following…

  • Dance Discussions - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    One Dance vs. Several: Which system is better?

    November 2, 2017 - By 

    Each dance has their own system and customs for dancing. Some dances have a pretty defined limit of one-song-per-partner, while in others you can spend an hour or more dancing with one person. Tango has the most defined example, with a Tanda (3-4 songs) being the ‘standard’. I spend the majority of my time dancing Brazilian Zouk, which has a pretty open, multi-song system in both North America and Europe. The ‘norm’ is 2-3 songs per partner in most places. One is still polite and acceptable – but so is dancing for over an hour. I’ve also gone to WCS events, where the general ‘rule’…

  • Dance Discussions - Social Dancing

    What changes when you become an advanced dancer?

    August 21, 2017 - By 

    Social dancers tend to covet the idea of becoming an advanced dancer. When beginners first start out, they ask “how long will it take for me to be an advanced dancer?” (Answer: depends completely on your skills, how seriously you take it, and how willing you are to learn.) Meanwhile, the advanced dancers in the scene are frequently sought out for dances. Depending on the genre, maybe multiple dances. Newcomers look up to them, intermediates want to be them, and fellow advanced dancers treat them with a sense of camradarie. It’s very easy to see that some things change when…

  • Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Why a kind ‘No’ is (usually) important

    June 6, 2017 - By 

    It’s been a while since I got a very hard, blunt ‘No’ from a dancer. This weekend, I got to re-experience one when I moved outside my normal genres. I approached a guy who was sitting next to the dance floor. I asked him to dance. He looked me dead in the eye and said “no.” Which is fine; he doesn’t owe me a dance. And, I have no reason to need an explanation for the ‘no’. But, the manner of this particular ‘no’ actually made me think it was sarcastic at first. He looked me dead in the eye with a scowl…

  • Fun Stuff - Social Dancing

    The 7 Deadly Dancer Sins

    April 4, 2017 - By 

    In many Western cultures, the idea of the 7 Deadly Sins is a common way we frame undesirable attributes. They capture habits that are easy to fall into – but may create havoc in our personal or professional lives. In dance, we have our own ‘Sins’ that can sabotage our dance experience. Some of them are primarily interpersonal problems; they affect our relationships and reputation. Others are primarily personal; they affect our own internal experience – and can even cause us to leave dance forever. Lust The dance sin of Lust is using social dancing solely as a mechanism to make…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Are you obligated to say ‘Yes’ to every dance? (pt. 1)

    April 2, 2015 - By 

    No, you are not. I will explain. We’ve all heard it. The famous saying: “Never say No to a dance”. I disagree. There are very valid reasons to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to a dance. All of them are completely legitimate, and within your right to exercise. By giving ourselves the power to say ‘No’ to a dance, we help to preserve the joy we gain from actually social dancing when we want to and on our terms.