• Dance Discussions

    A Case Against “Good, Clean Basics”

    February 11, 2020 - By 

    You have probably heard (or said) some variation of the phrase “I love beginners! All I care about is that my partner has good, clean basics.” We think that it takes the pressure off of novice dancers who are still getting their feet, and that it discourages pattern junky or rough behaviour. But, I think we may want to reconsider this phrase. The “Clean Beginner” Myth Beginners cannot have clean basics. Some may have cleaner or stronger basics, and some may be weaker. But, they’re not going to be ‘clean.’ Why? Put simply, they haven’t developed them yet. Very few people…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Following - Social Dancing

    Heaviness vs Solid Connection

    April 5, 2018 - By 

    Have you ever been told that you were a ‘heavy’ follower, attempted to become lighter, and were then told that you were too disconnected or floppy? Or, have you been told your connection was too “light”, attempted to adjust, and then found yourself being called too “heavy”? If so, this article is for you. The “Heaviness” and “Lightness” Problem Frequently, social dancers use heaviness and lightness as catch-all phrases to encompass the idea of “connection.” A follow who is “too heavy” often has too much tension, pushes down their arms, and can feel immovable. A follow who is “too light”…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Why some partners won’t tell you when you’re making them uncomfortable

    December 15, 2017 - By 

    I have always advocated strongly for dancers to speak up when something hurts, or when they’re uncomfortable. I still think it’s very important for dancers to learn how to use their voice. But, part of understanding our current social dance culture is also understanding that some people are not yet confident enough to speak up. No “Blame” (Usually) While we don’t like to think about it, sometimes we might be the person who made someone uncomfortable. There are very few (if any) people who actively want to make their partner uncomfortable. Most of us strive for the opposite. And, one of…

  • Fun Stuff

    The 7 Types of Dance Crushes

    October 31, 2017 - By 

    Dance Crushes: we’ve all had them. They fill us with joy (usually), and are a concept that most non-dancers don’t quite understand. But, have you ever noticed that “Dance Crush” doesn’t always mean the same thing? While it usually refers to someone you love dancing with, it can also be used to talk about others within the dance scene that you have a ‘crush’ on for any reason. Today, we’re going through some of the most common types of “Dance Crushes.” 1. The Gorgeous Crush This dance crush is not always your favourite dancer – but holy crap, they’re beautiful. You…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Following - Leading - Social Dancing - Workshops & Classes

    The five W’s (and one H) of Dancing

    October 25, 2017 - By 

    Each great dance we will ever have comes down to a few foundational building blocks. If all the blocks are there, a dance will be more successful and pleasant. But, if we prioritize certain building blocks over others, we end up with an unbalanced experience. Those building blocks can be summed up as the Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How of the dance. The Who: Connection Connection (the “Who”) is your awareness and understanding of your partner. It encompasses how you touch, hold, or feel your partner’s body. It is important for understanding the what of a dance, because it…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Dance-Touch vs. Non-Dance Touch

    September 14, 2017 - By 

    Touch is necessary for social dancing. Depending on your style of dance, it can be anything from an open handhold to full body contact. Those contact points may also change or evolve, and those connection points may ask for specific physical responses from a partner. These touches are a type of dance-touch. They’re how we communicate with each other, for the purposes of creating an interesting, fun, and safe dance. But, there’s another type: non-dance touch. Non-dance touch is any touch that you don’t feel is part of dancing. It can be sexual, or completely platonic. These are touches that don’t…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Leading - Social Dancing

    Dear Leaders: It’s not all your fault

    July 24, 2017 - By 

    Dear Leaders, You’ve probably heard somewhere that if there’s a mistake, it’s always your fault. I want to tell you that this isn’t true. As a lead, you are supposed to compensate for a follow who is struggling. This might mean slowing down, changing the moves you use, or being more clear on what you would like. But, the fact that you’re supposed to compensate for your partner doesn’t make you at fault for every mistake that happens. Compensation is a great thing. But, there’s only a certain amount you can compensate for. For example, you can’t magically turn a…

  • Dance Discussions - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Why a ‘deep connection’ is sometimes seen as ‘sexual’

    July 13, 2017 - By 

    Some dance styles, like Kizomba, Brazilian Zouk, or Bachata, use a very close connection between the partners. These dances are often described as ‘sensual’ dances. For a few, they describe these dances as ‘sexual’. I understand why some people see it as sexual. Not too long ago, I was dancing with a lead who had a very intimate-feeling connection. It was intimate enough that I had to take a minute and decide whether or not he was asking for just a dance, or something more. This is after I’ve been dancing ‘sensual’ styles for over 7 years.  In this situation, the…

  • Health & Safety - Social Dancing

    Why the “Leg Clamp” is dangerous

    June 14, 2017 - By 

    Some dancers in close-hold dances like to do isolations with their hips and upper body. However, some dancers also use the “Leg Clamp” as a way of trying to connect and control the movements. The Leg Clamp is when a partner places their legs on either side of one of yours, and squeezes your leg. It can be found in many dances. Often, it’s used for one of two reasons: to immobilize the lower body in order to create upper body isolations (which is typically how it is used, when executed well). to maintain “connection” in the lower body, frequently…

  • Community Building - Social Dancing

    Advanced dancers: Remember your superpower

    May 29, 2017 - By 

    If you identify as an advanced dancer, remember that with great power comes great responsibility. (Yes, that’s incredibly corny. No, I don’t regret it.) When you become an advanced dancer, the superpower you gain is your awesome dance skills. You can use those skills to further your own pleasure and gain by holding them back from the newer dancers below you. Or, you can give those skills freely to the new dancers waiting to be inspired. “Waiting” to be inspired I say waiting to be inspired for a very specific reason: most newer dancers aren’t actually “inspired” by the dance…

  • Following - Leading - Social Dancing

    Why every dancer should be both a leader and a follower

    May 24, 2017 - By 

    In partner dance, we have two (typically) well-defined roles: leader and follower. Each of these roles has its own set of responsibilities. The leader is the director, who has a vision for what happens next. They create the requests, which are then processed by the follower. The follower interprets requests made by the leader, and implements the request. They create the vision the leader has set out. But, what if we blur these lines a bit? The Concept of Following while Leading The most sought-after leads have a very special quality: the ability to understand and interpret the responses given by…

  • Workshops & Classes

    When Fixing Problems Goes Too Far

    March 22, 2017 - By 

    When I was a new teacher, I had a student who began as a very ‘heavy’ follow. She used so much resistance that I would be exhausted after one dance with her. After a few months of regular practice, she became a ‘lighter’ follow. It was a beautiful connection. But, she didn’t stop there. She kept trying to connect more lightly. After all, the response to the initial ‘lightening’ was very good – so more must be better, right? The Overcorrection Conundrum This is a habit that I’ve seen quite frequently with dedicated but less-experienced partner dancers. First, they get a piece…

  • Fun Stuff

    The Love Languages of Dance

    February 17, 2017 - By 

    Most of us have heard about the five ‘love languages’, when applied to our interpersonal relationships. Some people prefer loving words, while others prefer giving and receiving gifts. Some like actions that show love, and others like physical touch. Some just like the person they care about to be present and engaged. This got me thinking: maybe there’s ‘love languages’ in dance. Maybe part of what makes us connect with certain partners comes down to what connects best with us. TDG Note: Article updated in Jan 2021 with quizzes and additional details.  The Dance Love Languages Just like the original love…

  • Inspirational - Social Dancing

    In a Culture of Isolation, Be the Invitation

    February 9, 2017 - By 

    “In a culture of isolation, be the invitation to everything.” – Vera de Chalambert* As dancers, we know the meaning of an invitation. Or rather, we think we do. We invite each other to dance. Leaders invite followers into patterns and movements. Dancers invite each other into a connection and embrace. But, beyond the invitations we give our dancers in the context of the dance-relationship, are we truly inviting them in? Anonymous Dancers We usually think that if we know someone’s name they are no longer anonymous. But, a name is not the only indicator of anonymity. Anonymity in its broadest sense is tied to a lack…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    The Anatomy of a Social Dance-Acceptable Lift

    January 9, 2017 - By 

    The idea that lifts shouldn’t be done on the social floor is well-known. I agree with this, the vast majority of the time. But, every time we mention that it’s a no-no, there’s some lead out there who knows this one person follows are happy being lifted by. And, they want to do it too. So, let’s go through all the things a leader must do in order to lift someone on the social floor in an acceptable way. If even one of these pieces is missing, you are not in a position to do lifts in a social dance-acceptable way. You may be…