All about the "Social" part of Dancing
Have you ever intentionally hurt or made someone uncomfortable while you were social dancing? (No? That’s what I thought) Now the trickier one… have you ever felt like someone intentionally hurt or made YOU uncomfortable while you were social dancing with them? What about, while not intentional, negligence (a lack of care) was responsible for the injury?
The Fun Partners: people who are always a joy to social dance with. They bring light to their partner’s eyes, and make every song a joy. But, what is it about these people who make them so much fun?
Follows: have you ever said you didn’t do a move because the lead ‘didn’t lead you properly?’ Then this is for you. It’s time to take charge of your own dancing.
I’ve been in several dance classes where students are told to make eye contact with each other. I’ve also had some creepy dances where my partner stared into my eyes for the entire dance. Where is the line between ‘not enough’ eye contact, and ‘too much’ eye contact?
It is important that everyone learn how to dance safely, and how to take care of our partners. It is important for leads to learn how to properly and safely lead, and for follows to learn how to properly and safely follow. However, our quest for learning this material shouldn’t come at the expense of our patience for others.
We all have our favourite partners. Usually, these are partners where we could spend a long time dancing with them, and still enjoy our time. Sometimes, we’re more than happy to ask and re-ask for dances throughout the night. A re-ask (for the purposes of this article) is when you ask a person for a dance more than one time in a night. It doesn’t matter whether your first ask was accepted or declined; later asks are still re-asks.
If we’ve been social dancing for any length of time, we know that one of the golden rules is to ‘never teach on the dancefloor’. It’s irritating, it’s rude, and it makes your partner feel really crappy. I’m not talking about the follow who requests that their hands not be squeezed, or the lead who requests a follow not to self-dip. I’m talking about those <s> lovely </s> individuals who stop a dance to explain to you what you’re doing ‘wrong’ and how to fix it.
Social dancing is a language. We have our own set of cues and responses that people understand and respond to with various degrees of efficiency. There’s people who speak fluently, people who speak basic, conversational dance, and those who only know a few words. Beyond the movements we use for actual steps, we have a second ‘hidden’ language. This language is what we use to communicate issues that we’re having with the other person’s dancing. This hidden language is sometimes MORE important than the ‘dance language’ itself.
There are very few reasonable reasons to leave a dance before the end of a song. Generally speaking, agreeing to a dance means you are agreeing to spend a minimum of 1 song with that person. It does not mean taking a test-drive, and then deciding 30 seconds later that you no longer want that dance.
Dangerous dancers: we’ve all danced with one. If we’ve been dancing a while, probably several. But, one thing many people do not pause to consider is: Are we the dangerous dancer everyone keeps talking about?
Each dance has its own style and ‘standard’ look. Lindy Hoppers love their retro gear, while WCS dancers favour slacks and pants. Brazilian Zouk loves its body suits, and Tango is all about emphasizing the legs. Beyond how we dress our bodies, there are usually ‘standard’ body highlights present in styles. For example, Kizomba showcases the derriere, and Zouk the hair. WCS emphasizes lines, and (once again) Tango emphasizes the legs.
We all know that teaching on the dance floor is not a nice thing to do. But, what about asking your partner to change a particular thing when they do something you don’t like during a social dance?
Dear Beginner, I’m so happy you decided to social dance. I’m so happy that you’ve decided that this magnificent world has caught your interest – and I hope it holds it. You’re going to meet many, many amazing people, have fantastic nights, and perhaps even travel to unbelievable events. But you’re also going to be told ‘No’.
“Social Dancer” can mean many things in dance-lingo. It can mean someone who is serious about learning improvised lead-follow dancing. It can means someone who is welcoming to beginners. It also sometimes gets used to describe non-serious dancers who view the dancefloor as a ‘social’ activity to have fun. These are the people who know a couple basic moves, and don’t really have any desire to learn more or take more classes (sometimes, even any at all!)
What if I told you that you have the power to make someone’s night awesome at nearly every social you attend? Well, this is me telling you: Yes, you can. At every single event or social you attend, you have the power to make someone’s night amazing. You have the power to turn someone’s experience into something wonderful. You have the power to help someone turn an ‘off’ night into an ‘on’ night.