• Community Building - Etiquette - Health & Safety - Social Dancing

    Why Passive-Aggressive Feedback Doesn’t Work

    February 27, 2019 - By 

    Have you ever had an unpleasant dance? Maybe your partner squeezed your hand too hard. Maybe they were generally off-time and a bit rough. What did you do? Did you fix your face into an unsatisfied scowl to teach them a lesson? If you did, you have engaged in what I call passive-aggressive feedback. What is passive-aggressive feedback Passive-aggressive feedback is when a dancer uses body language (or, in extreme cases, even words) to indicate to their partner how unhappy they are with the present situation, but does not offer any constructive information as to what the issue is or…

  • Community Building - Congresses & Travel - Dance Discussions - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Breaking the Dance Monkey and Dance Clique Cycle

    December 4, 2018 - By 

    A while ago, I wrote an article about the many reasons that professionals don’t always social dance. However, beyond that, there seems to be a fundamental disconnect both in how advanced dancers treat newer dancers, and the way that new dancers treat their dance idols. In many places, this has led to a strange dynamic where advanced dancers almost shun newer ones, while new ones create dance queues and demonize advanced dancers who are not super generous in their dances. As a social dancer in some styles and a professional in others, I’ve been on both sides of the divide.…

  • Dance Discussions - Following - Social Dancing

    In Support of Follow Empowerment

    October 18, 2018 - By 

    Over time, dance communities are moving towards a greater focus on follower empowerment. We are becoming more aware of the value followers bring to a dance, and the need to teach to both followers and leaders. But, some people are still a little bit foggy on what follower empowerment is. What follower empowerment is not As we explore what follower empowerment is, we need to remember that it is not about making followers more important than the leader, or insinuating that leaders are the bad guys. Rather, by giving more weight to the responsibilities and importance of the follower role, it actually reduces the…

  • Dance Discussions - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Are Social Dancers Mean?

    December 4, 2017 - By 

    Question: What do all the following scenarios have in common? A follow is encouraged to walk off the floor if their lead unintentionally executes something rough. The lead is also called an “idiot” by the advice-giver. An advanced dancer is told that they’re selfish for dancing several times with their favourite dance partner. A scene leader is told that they’re self-centered for not giving more to their community. A girl gets rejected for dances because she wore something “too revealing.” A lead gets excluded from a social dance competition because he’s not “devoted to dance enough” for a competition where follows vote…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Health & Safety - Social Dancing

    Being Kind vs. Being Assertive

    July 25, 2016 - By 

    There are two truths I’ve learned in both dance and life about relating to people: Being assertive about your needs, wants, and rights is important; and, Being kind, polite and respectful is one of the best ways to deal with people. Several dance communities have recently been having a very important discussion of the role of consent, personal space, and our ‘rights’ as dancers. This is a long-overdue discussion – but I want to highlight one risk we run in our quest for assertiveness: We run the risk of becoming unnecessarily mean or rude.

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Boundary Setting 101

    July 4, 2016 - By 

    Social Dancing: the perfect space for safe, physical contact with partners. The place where it’s OK to be super close to your partner, with no romantic or sexual inclinations. For most people who have been social dancing for a long time, the close, physical contact between dance partners can feel like a very natural space. In some dances, that closeness even becomes a symbol of the magnificent ‘great connection‘ we are always chasing.