• Beginner-Friendly - Workshops & Classes

    Practice Partners: the Good, the Bad, and You

    March 1, 2017 - By 

    Practice partners are a frequently underused resource in dance education and practice. Some people fear that a practice partner will entrench bad habits. Others feel like they can’t ‘learn enough’ working independently without a teacher. Others just get flat-out bored. But, those who have one (or two, or three) swear by them. Are you ready for a practice partner? Most people immediately start thinking about who they would ask to be their practice partner. But, the first thing to ask is if you would make a good practice partner. Until you are ready to really commit to having a practice…

  • Social Dancing

    The Three Dance “Hells”

    February 24, 2017 - By 

    In dancing, there are three stages where most dancers deal with deep feelings of frustration or apathy – and sometimes even leave the scene. Some dancers get stuck in these for a long time – while others may only spend a short time there. But, it’s rare to bypass a stage completely. I call these stages the three circles of Hell for dancers: Beginner’s Hell Plateau Purgatory Snob Inferno Circle 1: Beginner’s Hell Beginner’s Hell is what happens when you first start learning a dance – but nothing quite works yet. It’s also the only hell a dancer will always encounter each time…

  • Fun Stuff

    The Love Languages of Dance

    February 17, 2017 - By 

    Most of us have heard about the five ‘love languages’, when applied to our interpersonal relationships. Some people prefer loving words, while others prefer giving and receiving gifts. Some like actions that show love, and others like physical touch. Some just like the person they care about to be present and engaged. This got me thinking: maybe there’s ‘love languages’ in dance. Maybe part of what makes us connect with certain partners comes down to what connects best with us. TDG Note: Article updated in Jan 2021 with quizzes and additional details.  The Dance Love Languages Just like the original love…

  • Inspirational - Social Dancing

    In a Culture of Isolation, Be the Invitation

    February 9, 2017 - By 

    “In a culture of isolation, be the invitation to everything.” – Vera de Chalambert* As dancers, we know the meaning of an invitation. Or rather, we think we do. We invite each other to dance. Leaders invite followers into patterns and movements. Dancers invite each other into a connection and embrace. But, beyond the invitations we give our dancers in the context of the dance-relationship, are we truly inviting them in? Anonymous Dancers We usually think that if we know someone’s name they are no longer anonymous. But, a name is not the only indicator of anonymity. Anonymity in its broadest sense is tied to a lack…

  • Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Guest Article: A Plea for Verbal Communication

    February 6, 2017 - By 

    “Words are inadequate, this is why we dance” – Unknown Ah, partner dancing: the communication between two bodies to music. It transcends the individual and words. I really dislike talking while dancing. It prevents me from hearing the music and takes me out of the moment. I don’t even really like talking before or after dancing. Those 10-second chit-chats in between dances drain my energy. I’d much rather have a deep conversation with two friends over dinner than talk about the next workshop before the next dance starts. Even so, I’m here to encourage you to talk more. I think…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Social Dancing

    The Dancer’s Bill of Rights and Obligations

    February 2, 2017 - By 

    As social dancers, we navigate a complex world of body language and social relationships. Sometimes, we successfully figure them out. Other times, we don’t. This “Bill of Rights and Obligations” is designed to give all dancers a guideline for how they should expect to be treated, and how they are expected to treat others. Note: “expect to be treated” doesn’t mean that you will be treated that way – but it does mean that if you are not treated that way, it is wrong and should not be tolerated. Bill of Rights You always have the right to: Be treated with human decency at…

  • Congresses & Travel

    For Organizers: A Guide for Controlling the Atmosphere at Your Event

    January 26, 2017 - By 

    From one organizer to another, I know how hard this job is. You work all year to plan something beautiful for your community. And, as an organizer, I know how important it is to you that attendees love (not like) your event. After all, the entire reason for having an event is to spread the joy of dance. It certainly isn’t for the fame or money. I’m sure you hear me when I say that one of my nightmares is having an event where any of the attendees are unsafe or uncomfortable. But, it does happen. It happens across all genres and all…

  • Dance Discussions

    On Sexual Assault

    January 17, 2017 - By 

    Today is the third time in under a month that a story of sexual assault by a prominent dance figure has arrived in my newsfeed. That is extremely maddening. To be clear, I’m not taking a legal stance on whether or not the assaults in question ‘actually happened’, though my personal opinion is that the facts presented seem rather plausible in all three situations. But, that’s not my point today. My point today is to talk about how every person in our community has an obligation to always ensure they have a willing partner in every sexual encounter they have. No…

  • Dance Discussions - Workshops & Classes

    The Twin Curses of Greatness and Incompetence

    January 10, 2017 - By 

    There are two groups of dancers most of us have heard of: the incompetent dancers who think they’re amazing, and the brilliant dancers who can’t understand the struggle of others. On face value, these two groups couldn’t seem more different. One group is typically very good at what they do, and a pleasure to dance with. The other is full of ego and a sense of superiority – even though most dancers would rather avoid them. But if we dig a bit deeper, they’re two sides of the same coin. They’re both based on an inability to understand their relative…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    The Anatomy of a Social Dance-Acceptable Lift

    January 9, 2017 - By 

    The idea that lifts shouldn’t be done on the social floor is well-known. I agree with this, the vast majority of the time. But, every time we mention that it’s a no-no, there’s some lead out there who knows this one person follows are happy being lifted by. And, they want to do it too. So, let’s go through all the things a leader must do in order to lift someone on the social floor in an acceptable way. If even one of these pieces is missing, you are not in a position to do lifts in a social dance-acceptable way. You may be…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette

    Dancers: Manage Your Package

    January 5, 2017 - By 

    This past weekend, I was having an enjoyable dance with a guy. The dance was smooth and relatively connected.  He moved into a closer hold, and the dance suddenly became distinctly unenjoyable for one reason: His erect penis was on my leg. Unintentional Encounters Most people aren’t trying to rub themselves on us. For those with a penis, there’s a dangly bit there, and sometimes it gets in the way. However, it is the responsibility of the penis owner to manage their bits to keep their partner feeling comfortable. And yes, it’s natural in some dances and positions to feel…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Social Dancing

    Navigating Your First Social

    January 4, 2017 - By 

    So, you’re ready to start social dancing! Maybe you’ve taken a few classes, or perhaps you have a friend who is dragging you out one night this week. Whatever the reason, I hope you have an awesome time. Before you go social dancing, let me help you understand what you should think about before you hit the dance floor. If it’s your 1st time Dancing If you have never danced before, try to find a venue that has a free class beforehand. It makes it significantly easier to meet other people and to navigate the dance floor. Or, go with…

  • Dance Discussions

    Why we need to talk about the dark parts of our communities

    January 3, 2017 - By 

    Update: It appears the original video is not linking properly from all browsers. If you are having trouble viewing it or it is not appearing, please check the comments below for the link posted by one of our readers.  I just finished listening to a very powerful video from Kizomba Harmony’s Billy Myles. It focuses on the rape culture underpinnings of many dance communities – and I have to say I agree with almost every word. This man wasn’t the first to start opening the issue of rape. However, Myles’ influential status gives him a very strong platform to wrench the…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    Backfollowing: when leaders lose their intention

    December 30, 2016 - By 

    Most dancers have heard of the dreaded Backleader: the follow who doesn’t listen to their partner. But, until now we didn’t have a similar concept for leaders who don’t lead.  Therefore, I’d like to introduce the concept of backfollowing: when leaders ask the follower to take over the job of leading. What is a ‘Weak’ Leader? A weak leader is someone who lacks the skills to lead properly. There are two main types of weak leaders: the non-existent or ambiguous, and the rough, conflicting lead. The concept of backfollowing is closely linked to the non-existent or ambiguous lead, whereas the rough, conflicting…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    Why follows either love or hate strong leads

    December 29, 2016 - By 

    I was speaking with a dancer a few days ago. She was learning how to lead, but was scared of being ‘too strong’. Part of the fear stemmed from the idea that good follows prefer ‘light’ leads to ‘strong’ leads. So I asked her about a particular, very well-loved lead. She said she does enjoy dancing with him. I asked her if she would consider him a ‘strong’ lead. Her answer: “yes.” This is, of course, a conundrum. If a follower enjoys a lead they consider ‘strong’, but doesn’t like ‘strong’ leads, there’s something that needs to be redefined. In this first…