• Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    The Cologne Problem

    May 10, 2017 - By 

    Recently, a gracious leader asked me to dance. We got into close hold, and the connection was lovely. But, within 3 seconds in close hold, I had to walk away from the dance. He was wearing so much cologne that I could feel my throat swelling and eyes start to water. So, after a few moment, I pulled away from the embrace and told him the problem that I was having. It felt terrible to leave the dance, but for my health, I had to. As someone with a sensitive respiratory system, heavy scents can ruin a night for me. This is ironic, since…

  • Social Dancing

    Should pros social dance: a follow-up

    May 2, 2017 - By 

    Yesterday, I published an article about why some artists may not social dance all night at parties. Several dancers responded, and said they felt it was a near-mandatory part of an artist’s job because social dancers are their “employer”. Some also felt that it wasn’t an obligation, but not social dancing makes you a ‘dick’. Others stated that since it can be a highlight for attendees, artists should do it. I can understand where these feelings come from, but this is why I disagree with these ideas. “Social Dancers are the Artist’s Employer” Social dancers are not the employer. I know…

  • Social Dancing

    Should Pros Social Dance?

    May 1, 2017 - By 

    Many social dancers go to events for the opportunity to dance with their favourite pros. In some places, the most sought-after dancers can have a line-up of people waiting for their “3-5 minutes of heaven”. But, there are some pros who social dance very little – or seem to social dance ‘too much’ with other professionals. Are they breaking a rule? Should there be a ‘requirement’ or ‘expectation’ that a professional social dance as much as possible -and with everyone at an event? My answer? Usually, no. Which pros are we talking about? This article is primarily directed towards the ‘top tier’ of…

  • Fun Stuff - Social Dancing

    The 7 Deadly Dancer Sins

    April 4, 2017 - By 

    In many Western cultures, the idea of the 7 Deadly Sins is a common way we frame undesirable attributes. They capture habits that are easy to fall into – but may create havoc in our personal or professional lives. In dance, we have our own ‘Sins’ that can sabotage our dance experience. Some of them are primarily interpersonal problems; they affect our relationships and reputation. Others are primarily personal; they affect our own internal experience – and can even cause us to leave dance forever. Lust The dance sin of Lust is using social dancing solely as a mechanism to make…

  • Congresses & Travel - Etiquette

    Be a Better Congress Roommate

    March 7, 2017 - By 

    When most of us go to a dance weekend, we end up in a shared hotel room. It’s hard enough to share close quarters (or even a bed) with people you know and like. It can be worse to try to deal with the annoyances brought on by a stranger. But, there are some things you can do to make sure you (and your roommates) don’t want to strangle each other by the end of the weekend. Make your own life easier Understand their expectations One of the biggest lessons I learned about roommates was to manage expectations before the…

  • Social Dancing

    The Three Dance “Hells”

    February 24, 2017 - By 

    In dancing, there are three stages where most dancers deal with deep feelings of frustration or apathy – and sometimes even leave the scene. Some dancers get stuck in these for a long time – while others may only spend a short time there. But, it’s rare to bypass a stage completely. I call these stages the three circles of Hell for dancers: Beginner’s Hell Plateau Purgatory Snob Inferno Circle 1: Beginner’s Hell Beginner’s Hell is what happens when you first start learning a dance – but nothing quite works yet. It’s also the only hell a dancer will always encounter each time…

  • Inspirational - Social Dancing

    In a Culture of Isolation, Be the Invitation

    February 9, 2017 - By 

    “In a culture of isolation, be the invitation to everything.” – Vera de Chalambert* As dancers, we know the meaning of an invitation. Or rather, we think we do. We invite each other to dance. Leaders invite followers into patterns and movements. Dancers invite each other into a connection and embrace. But, beyond the invitations we give our dancers in the context of the dance-relationship, are we truly inviting them in? Anonymous Dancers We usually think that if we know someone’s name they are no longer anonymous. But, a name is not the only indicator of anonymity. Anonymity in its broadest sense is tied to a lack…

  • Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Guest Article: A Plea for Verbal Communication

    February 6, 2017 - By 

    “Words are inadequate, this is why we dance” – Unknown Ah, partner dancing: the communication between two bodies to music. It transcends the individual and words. I really dislike talking while dancing. It prevents me from hearing the music and takes me out of the moment. I don’t even really like talking before or after dancing. Those 10-second chit-chats in between dances drain my energy. I’d much rather have a deep conversation with two friends over dinner than talk about the next workshop before the next dance starts. Even so, I’m here to encourage you to talk more. I think…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Social Dancing

    The Dancer’s Bill of Rights and Obligations

    February 2, 2017 - By 

    As social dancers, we navigate a complex world of body language and social relationships. Sometimes, we successfully figure them out. Other times, we don’t. This “Bill of Rights and Obligations” is designed to give all dancers a guideline for how they should expect to be treated, and how they are expected to treat others. Note: “expect to be treated” doesn’t mean that you will be treated that way – but it does mean that if you are not treated that way, it is wrong and should not be tolerated. Bill of Rights You always have the right to: Be treated with human decency at…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    The Anatomy of a Social Dance-Acceptable Lift

    January 9, 2017 - By 

    The idea that lifts shouldn’t be done on the social floor is well-known. I agree with this, the vast majority of the time. But, every time we mention that it’s a no-no, there’s some lead out there who knows this one person follows are happy being lifted by. And, they want to do it too. So, let’s go through all the things a leader must do in order to lift someone on the social floor in an acceptable way. If even one of these pieces is missing, you are not in a position to do lifts in a social dance-acceptable way. You may be…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette

    Dancers: Manage Your Package

    January 5, 2017 - By 

    This past weekend, I was having an enjoyable dance with a guy. The dance was smooth and relatively connected.  He moved into a closer hold, and the dance suddenly became distinctly unenjoyable for one reason: His erect penis was on my leg. Unintentional Encounters Most people aren’t trying to rub themselves on us. For those with a penis, there’s a dangly bit there, and sometimes it gets in the way. However, it is the responsibility of the penis owner to manage their bits to keep their partner feeling comfortable. And yes, it’s natural in some dances and positions to feel…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Social Dancing

    Navigating Your First Social

    January 4, 2017 - By 

    So, you’re ready to start social dancing! Maybe you’ve taken a few classes, or perhaps you have a friend who is dragging you out one night this week. Whatever the reason, I hope you have an awesome time. Before you go social dancing, let me help you understand what you should think about before you hit the dance floor. If it’s your 1st time Dancing If you have never danced before, try to find a venue that has a free class beforehand. It makes it significantly easier to meet other people and to navigate the dance floor. Or, go with…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    Backfollowing: when leaders lose their intention

    December 30, 2016 - By 

    Most dancers have heard of the dreaded Backleader: the follow who doesn’t listen to their partner. But, until now we didn’t have a similar concept for leaders who don’t lead.  Therefore, I’d like to introduce the concept of backfollowing: when leaders ask the follower to take over the job of leading. What is a ‘Weak’ Leader? A weak leader is someone who lacks the skills to lead properly. There are two main types of weak leaders: the non-existent or ambiguous, and the rough, conflicting lead. The concept of backfollowing is closely linked to the non-existent or ambiguous lead, whereas the rough, conflicting…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    Why follows either love or hate strong leads

    December 29, 2016 - By 

    I was speaking with a dancer a few days ago. She was learning how to lead, but was scared of being ‘too strong’. Part of the fear stemmed from the idea that good follows prefer ‘light’ leads to ‘strong’ leads. So I asked her about a particular, very well-loved lead. She said she does enjoy dancing with him. I asked her if she would consider him a ‘strong’ lead. Her answer: “yes.” This is, of course, a conundrum. If a follower enjoys a lead they consider ‘strong’, but doesn’t like ‘strong’ leads, there’s something that needs to be redefined. In this first…

  • Leading - Social Dancing

    Plain-Language Dancing

    December 9, 2016 - By 

    When I’m not dancing, I currently work on making plain-language legal resources. This means that I write things that are supposed to be easy to understand for people without advanced English language skills. Today, I had a thought: what if we apply the concepts of plain-language communication to social dancing? What if we had plain-language dancing? What is Plain-Language Communication? Put simply, plain-language communication is when your audience can understand something the first time they read or hear it. It’s making things as simple as possible for your audience. If you have to read something more than once to understand it, it isn’t…