• Beginner-Friendly - Following - Leading - Social Dancing - Workshops & Classes

    The five W’s (and one H) of Dancing

    October 25, 2017 - By 

    Each great dance we will ever have comes down to a few foundational building blocks. If all the blocks are there, a dance will be more successful and pleasant. But, if we prioritize certain building blocks over others, we end up with an unbalanced experience. Those building blocks can be summed up as the Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How of the dance. The Who: Connection Connection (the “Who”) is your awareness and understanding of your partner. It encompasses how you touch, hold, or feel your partner’s body. It is important for understanding the what of a dance, because it…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Community Building - Social Dancing

    The 12 Types of Beginners

    October 12, 2017 - By 

    Beginners are one of the most important parts of a growing dance community. They’re our future. But, if you look at the beginners in any scene, you’ll notice a few patterns: there are types of beginners. Not everyone falls neatly under one “type.” Most will have facets of several of the categories below. 1. The Terrified One You see them at socials. But, they barely dance. They may even reject dances with you, because they’re so scared of putting themselves out there. If you do manage to get them onto the floor, they may apologize for how “bad” they are.…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Dance-Touch vs. Non-Dance Touch

    September 14, 2017 - By 

    Touch is necessary for social dancing. Depending on your style of dance, it can be anything from an open handhold to full body contact. Those contact points may also change or evolve, and those connection points may ask for specific physical responses from a partner. These touches are a type of dance-touch. They’re how we communicate with each other, for the purposes of creating an interesting, fun, and safe dance. But, there’s another type: non-dance touch. Non-dance touch is any touch that you don’t feel is part of dancing. It can be sexual, or completely platonic. These are touches that don’t…

  • Dance Discussions - Social Dancing

    What changes when you become an advanced dancer?

    August 21, 2017 - By 

    Social dancers tend to covet the idea of becoming an advanced dancer. When beginners first start out, they ask “how long will it take for me to be an advanced dancer?” (Answer: depends completely on your skills, how seriously you take it, and how willing you are to learn.) Meanwhile, the advanced dancers in the scene are frequently sought out for dances. Depending on the genre, maybe multiple dances. Newcomers look up to them, intermediates want to be them, and fellow advanced dancers treat them with a sense of camradarie. It’s very easy to see that some things change when…

  • Congresses & Travel - Dance Discussions - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    The Ethics of Paying for Dances

    August 1, 2017 - By 

    We are used to paying cover to go social dancing, but for many people the concept of ‘paying for dances’ is both foreign and alarming. It is usually men who are ‘paid’ as a partner, and women who are paying. And, the practice is more frequent at large events than small socials. Paying for dances comes in several forms: taxi dancers, who are paid or given complimentary entrance/discounts to an event in exchange for social dancing; fundraiser dances, where pro’s are ‘tipped’ for a minute of social dance time and profits are donated to charity; dancer ‘rentals,’ where a high-level dancer is…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Leading - Social Dancing

    Dear Leaders: It’s not all your fault

    July 24, 2017 - By 

    Dear Leaders, You’ve probably heard somewhere that if there’s a mistake, it’s always your fault. I want to tell you that this isn’t true. As a lead, you are supposed to compensate for a follow who is struggling. This might mean slowing down, changing the moves you use, or being more clear on what you would like. But, the fact that you’re supposed to compensate for your partner doesn’t make you at fault for every mistake that happens. Compensation is a great thing. But, there’s only a certain amount you can compensate for. For example, you can’t magically turn a…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    10 things to (almost) never say on the dance floor

    July 18, 2017 - By 

    Most of us don’t do much talking while we dance. But, social dancing does require at least some verbal communication. In this list, we cover 10 things you should avoid saying to your dance partners. 1. “This is how you do ______.” Except for very limited circumstances, stopping a dance to explain a concept to your partner is inappropriate. Even if you are a teacher who knows what you’re saying is true, it’s still almost always inappropriate. Avoid floor teaching wherever possible and you’ll improve the dance experience for everyone involved!. 2. “Oh baby… you’re so sexy in my arms.”…

  • Dance Discussions - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Why a ‘deep connection’ is sometimes seen as ‘sexual’

    July 13, 2017 - By 

    Some dance styles, like Kizomba, Brazilian Zouk, or Bachata, use a very close connection between the partners. These dances are often described as ‘sensual’ dances. For a few, they describe these dances as ‘sexual’. I understand why some people see it as sexual. Not too long ago, I was dancing with a lead who had a very intimate-feeling connection. It was intimate enough that I had to take a minute and decide whether or not he was asking for just a dance, or something more. This is after I’ve been dancing ‘sensual’ styles for over 7 years.  In this situation, the…

  • Inspirational - Social Dancing - Workshops & Classes

    Why I try not to get angry at arrogant dancers

    June 21, 2017 - By 

    It can be very hard to stay calm when you meet an arrogant dancer. Their “I’ve got this” and “I’m awesome” mentality can be grating for partners. Very often, arrogant dancers get conflated with dance snobs. But, I feel the two are different. Whereas snobs are consumed by how crappy everyone else is, arrogant dancers are generally preoccupied with keeping up their own reputation. The difference between dance snobs and some ‘arrogant’ dancers The dance snob tends to focus on why everyone else sucks. They may roll their eyes at beginners, accuse others of not working hard enough, and more. Their focus is on how…

  • Health & Safety - Social Dancing

    Why the “Leg Clamp” is dangerous

    June 14, 2017 - By 

    Some dancers in close-hold dances like to do isolations with their hips and upper body. However, some dancers also use the “Leg Clamp” as a way of trying to connect and control the movements. The Leg Clamp is when a partner places their legs on either side of one of yours, and squeezes your leg. It can be found in many dances. Often, it’s used for one of two reasons: to immobilize the lower body in order to create upper body isolations (which is typically how it is used, when executed well). to maintain “connection” in the lower body, frequently…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Social Dancing

    You’re not alone if you suffer from Instructor Paralysis

    June 13, 2017 - By 

    Instructor Paralysis is when social dancers get so nervous about dancing with an instructor that they lose their ability to dance well. While this condition is most prolific when people dance with international instructors, it can occur with any dancer you perceive as stronger than you. It can also happen if it’s simply someone you really would like to impress. It’s similar to how awkward many of us get around a romantic crush. The big difference is that Instructor Paralysis happens with dance crushes instead. Symptoms Instructor Paralysis can manifest in different ways. Common symptoms include: Shaking or trembling Forgetting to step…

  • Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Why a kind ‘No’ is (usually) important

    June 6, 2017 - By 

    It’s been a while since I got a very hard, blunt ‘No’ from a dancer. This weekend, I got to re-experience one when I moved outside my normal genres. I approached a guy who was sitting next to the dance floor. I asked him to dance. He looked me dead in the eye and said “no.” Which is fine; he doesn’t owe me a dance. And, I have no reason to need an explanation for the ‘no’. But, the manner of this particular ‘no’ actually made me think it was sarcastic at first. He looked me dead in the eye with a scowl…

  • Community Building - Social Dancing

    Advanced dancers: Remember your superpower

    May 29, 2017 - By 

    If you identify as an advanced dancer, remember that with great power comes great responsibility. (Yes, that’s incredibly corny. No, I don’t regret it.) When you become an advanced dancer, the superpower you gain is your awesome dance skills. You can use those skills to further your own pleasure and gain by holding them back from the newer dancers below you. Or, you can give those skills freely to the new dancers waiting to be inspired. “Waiting” to be inspired I say waiting to be inspired for a very specific reason: most newer dancers aren’t actually “inspired” by the dance…

  • Following - Leading - Social Dancing

    Why every dancer should be both a leader and a follower

    May 24, 2017 - By 

    In partner dance, we have two (typically) well-defined roles: leader and follower. Each of these roles has its own set of responsibilities. The leader is the director, who has a vision for what happens next. They create the requests, which are then processed by the follower. The follower interprets requests made by the leader, and implements the request. They create the vision the leader has set out. But, what if we blur these lines a bit? The Concept of Following while Leading The most sought-after leads have a very special quality: the ability to understand and interpret the responses given by…

  • Etiquette

    A Guide for Dancers Commenting on Online Posts

    May 15, 2017 - By 

    I have a problem: I am far too easily attracted to online debates. My frequent desire to leave long comments is part of why I started this blog. On a whole, blogging tends to be a much more constructive alternative to random commenting. That’s not to say online comments can’t be constructive – they can. If we are able to keep things on the right track. This guide is by no means exhaustive, but it is a list of best-practices I try to use when interacting with other dancers on online forums. 1. People will see what you post If you don’t want all your…