All about the "Social" part of Dancing
I recently arrived home from one of the largest Zouk congresses in the world. It was full of all kinds of social dance partners, but there are a few that truly stick out in my mind. One was a dance where, after the first 20 seconds, I became very scared for my safety. But, unlike every other rough dance I’ve had, the leader managed to transform this dance into one of my most memorable of the weekend.
I’ve talked a lot in my blog about ‘connection’. It is such an integral part of dance, but very hard to understand for a large amount of people. In my experience with students, they often fall into two categories: The ones who already understand these things – naturally or through education; and, The ones who don’t.
Follows: what if I told you that you have just as much power to shape your dance as the lead? It’s true – and it starts from the second you begin dancing. Much the same way that a lead can ‘test’ the follow’s abilities before launching into full-on dance mode, we have the ability to ‘test’ the lead’s ability and assess how much we would like to give into the dance.
So, you’re on the social dance floor. You’ve just asked a partner to dance. This can be someone that you have never danced with, or it can be your first dance of the night with a great friend. Maybe it’s a dancer who you think is really advanced, and you are SUPER excited to go wild! But wait: you haven’t test-driven the dance yet.
Being a light follow has nothing to do with weight. You can be 200 pounds and light as a feather, or you can be 100 pounds and feel like my apartment’s refrigerator. You can have gorgeous style and be capable of 100 single-footed spins and STILL be a refrigerator. Conversely, you can have no style and physical limitations, yet still be a light follow.
I’ve been told twice that I shouldn’t dance. I only listened once. The first was when I was a beginner. Only a few weeks into my dance journey, my instructor became frustrated by my lack of ‘natural’ ability in Salsa. He point-blank told me “maybe dance just isn’t for you.” His advice didn’t help me at all. Because I was not grasping his ‘concepts’, he instead determined that I was not built to dance.
So, you’re new to the dance world. Or trying a new style. You’ve heard about this mythical thing called ‘social dancing’. That is, dancing with random people you probably don’t know. In front of other people. In a style you’re not very familiar with. Sound terrifying? If it does, you’re not alone. One of the hardest things to do within dance is taking that first plunge into the realm of socials. What if you forget your moves? What if you can’t find the beat? What if that really good dancer thinks you suck?
Have you ever been in a dance class where the follows have been told to ‘Just Follow’? Have you ever heard someone told that follows have it so much easier because they ‘Just Follow’? Have you ever heard a female instructor devalued because ‘She is a follow, not a lead’? I have.
I’ve gotten a few questions recently about a past article. Most of them centered around this general concept: “I just don’t want to take more classes. I know I’m not fantastic, but I enjoy learning patterns more than technique and just want to dance socially. What’s wrong with that?” I never advocate everyone needing to aim to be an advanced dancer – and I’ve said so before. If someone just want to learn basic patterns and have a nice social time, all the power to them! That’s great!
You may hear us follows from time to time admire our favourite leaders. We may call them strong leads, but when we say ‘strong’, it may mean something different.
Being a social dancer is a fantastic thing. It means that you feel, deep in your core, a desire to connect with other human beings. It means you have a desire to be empathetic, caring, and in tune with the energy around you. We desire to create, channeling our energy into a beautiful experience that is always present and never replicated in any other place. And, unlike many things, we choose to create these magical experiences with a partner.
Part of the thrill of being a lead in dance is being able to create the framework and shape the dance into something beautiful and creative. With a good follow, you can create magic on the floor. Better yet, you can do so effortlessly. But sometimes, leaders get so wrapped up in doing what they want that they forget about their follow.
Dance is a largely physical expression. Not that many of us use our words all that much. In many circles, the physicality is one of the things that overcomes the barriers created by language. But, sometimes our words can have power. Power that can be used for great good… or great evil… Muahahahahaha!!
Connection. We sigh and yearn for that dance partner that makes us feel amazing. The way that they hold their partner is simply magical, transporting you to a whole other realm of being. It’s a magic spell that lasts for a song – or maybe more – and leaves a smile on your face the rest of the evening. …But yet, it is so hard to capture.
We’ve talked about whether you always need to say ‘yes’ to a dance. We’ve talked about what happens when someone says ‘no.’ But…