Dear 1-Year Dancer, I’m glad you’ve been with us a year. I’m so happy you’ve been contributing to this wonderful community for a full 12 months. We may need to have a talk soon.
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Ask almost any dancer, and they’ll tell you that there are some KILLER habits that have nothing to do with your actual ability to dance. When I say ‘killer’, I don’t mean super-cool; I mean they will kill your desirability as a dance partner. For some people, these things are obvious. Others have (somehow) avoided hearing about these tricks. Last, there are those who know the tricks and think they’re doing OK – but in actuality are the worst offenders.
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Hands are magical. They’re one of the most sensitive parts of the human body, and can even feel large microscopic molecules on a flat surface. We also generally rely pretty heavily on the hands for social dancing. Of course, it is possible to not use the hands in social dancing – but it is difficult. But, there are things that your hands can do in social dancing that you may not think about regularly.
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I want you to imagine an absolute beginners walking into their first dance social. They see all these people moving together on the floor – nothing like what they’ve seen at a dance club. Their first impulse? “Wow! Everyone here is an amazing dancer!” Meanwhile, their advanced dancer buddy may look at the room and think how wrong that beginner is. To them, out of the 40 dancers in the room, at least 20 of them aren’t good partners.
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There are two truths I’ve learned in both dance and life about relating to people: Being assertive about your needs, wants, and rights is important; and, Being kind, polite and respectful is one of the best ways to deal with people. Several dance communities have recently been having a very important discussion of the role of consent, personal space, and our ‘rights’ as dancers. This is a long-overdue discussion – but I want to highlight one risk we run in our quest for assertiveness: We run the risk of becoming unnecessarily mean or rude.
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Dancers are a little bit different. We spend our nights doing crazy things. We spend our days thinking about spending our nights doing crazy things. We travel around the world to dance for a weekend – and many of us don’t even leave the hotel. How many of these graphs do you relate to?
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Do you consider yourself an open person when it comes to hearing about what you can improve? Funnily enough, most of us do consider ourselves open to feedback. Yet, from external experience, we know that there are quite a few dancers who do not take feedback well. This means that there are some dancers who consider themselves quite open to feedback – but who actually take feedback relatively poorly.
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“Hate begets hate; violence begets violence; toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the power of love” – Martin Luther King Jr. By this time, I’m sure that most of the dance world has already heard about the terror attack in Nice. It’s not the first, and it’s very likely not the last.
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Partner dances, by definition, involve two people. They require connection and lead/follow. To become a great partner dancer, you must practice with partners and on a social dance floor. But, the need for partnered practice does not negate the need for solo dance practice.
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There has been a storm recently about the ‘legitimacy’ of Sensual Bachata as a type of Bachata dance. It started with a video, which called out Daniel and Desiree and other notable Sensual Bachata dancers for their use of ‘LambaZouk’ (though I’d personally say they take more from Traditional style). It then escalated to a defense of ‘Sensual Bachata’ by its creators Korke and Judith.
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Have you ever eaten (or even seen) an Oreo cookie? Two chocolate wafers, containing a glorious cream frosting in the center. Some people eat them as a sandwich; some take them apart to simply eat the cream. When you social dance, I want you to think about Oreo cookies.
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Social Dancing: the perfect space for safe, physical contact with partners. The place where it’s OK to be super close to your partner, with no romantic or sexual inclinations. For most people who have been social dancing for a long time, the close, physical contact between dance partners can feel like a very natural space. In some dances, that closeness even becomes a symbol of the magnificent ‘great connection‘ we are always chasing.
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It’s time to dispel some myths about partner dancing. I’ve covered some before, like the idea of learning by social dancing or the idea of right and wrong. But, that’s far from the only misconception or myth that exists about social dancing! Some are actively encouraged, and others are just ‘understandings’ people have when they enter the scene.
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Have you ever felt like your leading is a bit ‘boring’ and is stuck on autopilot? Do you default to the same movement set, regardless of music? Follows, do you ever find yourself just ‘going through the motions’ on a step? If this sounds like you, you may be dancing on default.
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When I started dancing, I really wanted to move my body. I saw advanced dancers moving effortlessly around the floor, and I emulated them. So, when I went to class, I moved my body. A lot. I took giant steps. I flung my hair around as much as I could. I stuck my arms out all the time. I tried really hard to make my hips move on every step. In general, I was over-dancing.