• Etiquette - Social Dancing

    Why a kind ‘No’ is (usually) important

    June 6, 2017 - By 

    It’s been a while since I got a very hard, blunt ‘No’ from a dancer. This weekend, I got to re-experience one when I moved outside my normal genres. I approached a guy who was sitting next to the dance floor. I asked him to dance. He looked me dead in the eye and said “no.” Which is fine; he doesn’t owe me a dance. And, I have no reason to need an explanation for the ‘no’. But, the manner of this particular ‘no’ actually made me think it was sarcastic at first. He looked me dead in the eye with a scowl…

  • Community Building - Social Dancing

    Advanced dancers: Remember your superpower

    May 29, 2017 - By 

    If you identify as an advanced dancer, remember that with great power comes great responsibility. (Yes, that’s incredibly corny. No, I don’t regret it.) When you become an advanced dancer, the superpower you gain is your awesome dance skills. You can use those skills to further your own pleasure and gain by holding them back from the newer dancers below you. Or, you can give those skills freely to the new dancers waiting to be inspired. “Waiting” to be inspired I say waiting to be inspired for a very specific reason: most newer dancers aren’t actually “inspired” by the dance…

  • Following - Leading - Social Dancing

    Why every dancer should be both a leader and a follower

    May 24, 2017 - By 

    In partner dance, we have two (typically) well-defined roles: leader and follower. Each of these roles has its own set of responsibilities. The leader is the director, who has a vision for what happens next. They create the requests, which are then processed by the follower. The follower interprets requests made by the leader, and implements the request. They create the vision the leader has set out. But, what if we blur these lines a bit? The Concept of Following while Leading The most sought-after leads have a very special quality: the ability to understand and interpret the responses given by…

  • Etiquette

    A Guide for Dancers Commenting on Online Posts

    May 15, 2017 - By 

    I have a problem: I am far too easily attracted to online debates. My frequent desire to leave long comments is part of why I started this blog. On a whole, blogging tends to be a much more constructive alternative to random commenting. That’s not to say online comments can’t be constructive – they can. If we are able to keep things on the right track. This guide is by no means exhaustive, but it is a list of best-practices I try to use when interacting with other dancers on online forums. 1. People will see what you post If you don’t want all your…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Etiquette - Social Dancing

    The Cologne Problem

    May 10, 2017 - By 

    Recently, a gracious leader asked me to dance. We got into close hold, and the connection was lovely. But, within 3 seconds in close hold, I had to walk away from the dance. He was wearing so much cologne that I could feel my throat swelling and eyes start to water. So, after a few moment, I pulled away from the embrace and told him the problem that I was having. It felt terrible to leave the dance, but for my health, I had to. As someone with a sensitive respiratory system, heavy scents can ruin a night for me. This is ironic, since…

  • Social Dancing

    Should pros social dance: a follow-up

    May 2, 2017 - By 

    Yesterday, I published an article about why some artists may not social dance all night at parties. Several dancers responded, and said they felt it was a near-mandatory part of an artist’s job because social dancers are their “employer”. Some also felt that it wasn’t an obligation, but not social dancing makes you a ‘dick’. Others stated that since it can be a highlight for attendees, artists should do it. I can understand where these feelings come from, but this is why I disagree with these ideas. “Social Dancers are the Artist’s Employer” Social dancers are not the employer. I know…

  • Social Dancing

    Should Pros Social Dance?

    May 1, 2017 - By 

    Many social dancers go to events for the opportunity to dance with their favourite pros. In some places, the most sought-after dancers can have a line-up of people waiting for their “3-5 minutes of heaven”. But, there are some pros who social dance very little – or seem to social dance ‘too much’ with other professionals. Are they breaking a rule? Should there be a ‘requirement’ or ‘expectation’ that a professional social dance as much as possible -and with everyone at an event? My answer? Usually, no. Which pros are we talking about? This article is primarily directed towards the ‘top tier’ of…

  • Fun Stuff - Social Dancing

    The 7 Deadly Dancer Sins

    April 4, 2017 - By 

    In many Western cultures, the idea of the 7 Deadly Sins is a common way we frame undesirable attributes. They capture habits that are easy to fall into – but may create havoc in our personal or professional lives. In dance, we have our own ‘Sins’ that can sabotage our dance experience. Some of them are primarily interpersonal problems; they affect our relationships and reputation. Others are primarily personal; they affect our own internal experience – and can even cause us to leave dance forever. Lust The dance sin of Lust is using social dancing solely as a mechanism to make…

  • Workshops & Classes

    The 12 Types of Workshop Dancers

    March 28, 2017 - By 

    It seems that in every workshop, there’s some very recognizable dancers who come out to play. Whether it’s in weekly classes or congresses, you’re sure to find these dancers around the world and in every style. 1. The Questioner You guessed it – the Questioner has a question about everything. Whether it’s foot placement, connection, or some tiny detail about which muscle engages on count 2.5 of the pattern, they will have a question (or 10). Sometimes, the questions are so obscure or off-topic that the teachers are not able to answer them. But, every once in a while, the…

  • Workshops & Classes

    When Fixing Problems Goes Too Far

    March 22, 2017 - By 

    When I was a new teacher, I had a student who began as a very ‘heavy’ follow. She used so much resistance that I would be exhausted after one dance with her. After a few months of regular practice, she became a ‘lighter’ follow. It was a beautiful connection. But, she didn’t stop there. She kept trying to connect more lightly. After all, the response to the initial ‘lightening’ was very good – so more must be better, right? The Overcorrection Conundrum This is a habit that I’ve seen quite frequently with dedicated but less-experienced partner dancers. First, they get a piece…

  • Congresses & Travel - Etiquette

    Be a Better Congress Roommate

    March 7, 2017 - By 

    When most of us go to a dance weekend, we end up in a shared hotel room. It’s hard enough to share close quarters (or even a bed) with people you know and like. It can be worse to try to deal with the annoyances brought on by a stranger. But, there are some things you can do to make sure you (and your roommates) don’t want to strangle each other by the end of the weekend. Make your own life easier Understand their expectations One of the biggest lessons I learned about roommates was to manage expectations before the…

  • Beginner-Friendly - Workshops & Classes

    Practice Partners: the Good, the Bad, and You

    March 1, 2017 - By 

    Practice partners are a frequently underused resource in dance education and practice. Some people fear that a practice partner will entrench bad habits. Others feel like they can’t ‘learn enough’ working independently without a teacher. Others just get flat-out bored. But, those who have one (or two, or three) swear by them. Are you ready for a practice partner? Most people immediately start thinking about who they would ask to be their practice partner. But, the first thing to ask is if you would make a good practice partner. Until you are ready to really commit to having a practice…

  • Social Dancing

    The Three Dance “Hells”

    February 24, 2017 - By 

    In dancing, there are three stages where most dancers deal with deep feelings of frustration or apathy – and sometimes even leave the scene. Some dancers get stuck in these for a long time – while others may only spend a short time there. But, it’s rare to bypass a stage completely. I call these stages the three circles of Hell for dancers: Beginner’s Hell Plateau Purgatory Snob Inferno Circle 1: Beginner’s Hell Beginner’s Hell is what happens when you first start learning a dance – but nothing quite works yet. It’s also the only hell a dancer will always encounter each time…

  • Fun Stuff

    The Love Languages of Dance

    February 17, 2017 - By 

    Most of us have heard about the five ‘love languages’, when applied to our interpersonal relationships. Some people prefer loving words, while others prefer giving and receiving gifts. Some like actions that show love, and others like physical touch. Some just like the person they care about to be present and engaged. This got me thinking: maybe there’s ‘love languages’ in dance. Maybe part of what makes us connect with certain partners comes down to what connects best with us. TDG Note: Article updated in Jan 2021 with quizzes and additional details.  The Dance Love Languages Just like the original love…